"Let Me Fly" - DMX

Eagle let me fly or give me death.
Let my soul rest, take my breath;
'cause if I don't fly I'm gonna die anyways
I'm gonna live on but I'll be gone any day.

I think life passes by so quickly, and so many times goes by unsearched, unexplored, un-lived. I have had a deep passion formed in me recently to explore life. I despise the western philosophy that life is something to be conquored; that the ultimate "[North]American" dream is to grow up, find a trade to make a living, and settle into a nice, comfortable 9-5 rut called "success". Maybe that's me 23-year old "down with the system" rebellion rearing it's head, or my left-wing art-school influences...maybe it's my Gen-X attitude...I don't know. But I do know when I look at Jesus, he lived outside the box, too. And I want adventure!!
Let me elaborate...maybe someday I will end up in a 9-5 job, but I don't think that's even the issue. It's not the HOURS a person works, it's where their heart is while they work. See, I read this book called "Miles to Cross" by Mike Howerton. I heard about it through Relevant Magazine (which I highly reccomend...it's Christianity's anti-religious answer to "Life, God and Progressive culture"). Anyways, the magazine is part of the Relevent Media Group, who also publishes many really good books. Books that I am sometimes suprised to find in Christian bookstores because, while they are written from Christian prespectives, are very honest, truthful and not the typical "nice, mainstream, Christian-ese" books. (see their website at www.relevantbooks.com - they're starving student friendly at only $10 each if you order online).
I digress...Anyways, about this book. It ruined me life for normalcy! It is the essence of his (the author's) travel diary throughout four different pilgrimages in four different places with different travelling companions and different reasons for going in the first place. Throughout the book he takes very honest looks at the fake-ness of North America and people in general, at the vulnerablitiy of discovering who you are, the pain of insecurity and the beauty of finding God in the journey, not at the end. He discusses four different "tenents" of the "Tao of How" (you have to read the book to get it)...but in a nutshell the four principles of wanderlust that he discovers are:
1. Notice things
2. Know yourself
3. Don't complain
4. Love

Also, preceeding this book was a chance conversation with my friend Chad who challenged me to stop being scared and called me out to live life to the deepest. And God began to show me, through talking with Chad and reading this book, that you don't necessarily have to be in a new place to have the heart of a vagabond. You simply have to notice things. Look beyond the mundane and the ordinary. Look at people, don't just see them. Look at yourself. Dare to see the beauty and the ugliness inside, and don't run away from either. Stop complaining and look at your blessings and you will see God at work. And love. Always love.

Maybe this doesn't make sense to anyone but me (and Christa). Maybe I'm completley cracked, but at least my journal has sure been more interesting lately! Full of imagery and wonder and real, deep-down life-stuff...honest and raw. Every day I try and do something that scares me. I went to a movie with God. I had dinner with a homeless guy on the sidewalk the other night just to see what life was like on his side of the tax brackets. I will travel one day...I want to see the world at large and find God in unusual places...like a universal hide and seek, I guess. Sometimes I get so tired of the typical, North American suburbia that has so far contained the majority of my interactions and experiences with the universe. But I want to make journeying a lifestyle, not a vacation. Regardless of whether I am sitting at my desk at school or being a wife and mom or sleeping on a beach somewhere, I want to have the heart of a seeker.

Some "Travellese" (the language of travel) terms I've picked up on the way:

Pilgrimage
1. a journey of a pilgrim; especially one to a a sacred place
2. the course of life on earth

Vagabond
1. Moving from place to place without a fixed home

Wandering
1a. of, related to, or characteristic of a wanderer 2b. leading an unsettled, irresponsible, or disreputable life

Books to read:

"Miles to cross" - Mike Howerton

"Wild at heart" -John Elderidge (note: It's written for guys, but I learned so much about how to let guys be men and what's in their hearts and the importance of adventure and a woman's place in the whole picutre...SO Good, even for girls!)

"Your God is Too Safe" - Mark Buchannon

Travel Tunes:
Let me fly - DMX
Dare you to move - Switchfoot
California - Wave
Drive - Incubus
More - J. Englishman
Open Road Song - Eve 6
Companion - Wide Mouth Mason
Closer to myself - Kendall Payne
Armor Down - Dawntreader
Live like you were dying -Tim McGraw
Don't worry (about your life) - Rebecca St. James

Food for thought:
"Not all who wander are lost" - J.R.R. Tolkein

"We prefer the human scale to the corporate; vagabonding to tourism and the quirky and lively to the toned down and flattened out" - Patagonia Catalogue

"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full" - Jesus

"Joy is a by-product. It is what you get when you get out of the way. Love. Every life you touch is significant. Every moment is infinite. What you do matters. Love. Of course you will be confronted with needs that far outdistance your ability to solve. You can't do everyting. So let yourself off the hook. You aren't the savior of the world, thank God. Don't worry about doing everything. You can't. Just do something. Notice things. Know yourelf. Never complain. Love. Like I said at the outset, it's barely a shell of a philosophy. But I'd put money on the fact that it has never been lived. Not consistantley. Well, maybe once, but that was two thousand years ago. it's time we take another crack at it." - Mike Howerton